I can’t stand buying an automobile — new or pre-owned. It’s not the car mind you; I despise having to deal with the salespeople and managers who think the only thing you’re interested in is a low price.

My daughter just turned 17, and my wife just returned from a four-month military deployment. It seemed the right time to get a new car, not for me, but as rewards for my wife’s military service and my daughter for doing so well in school.

In my family a car represents transportation, not a status symbol. We look for safety, dependability and economy. Sure, like just about everyone, we don’t want to pay more than we have to, but we will pay a fair price to get what we want.

Unfortunately, as we did the ‘dance’ at the dealership, the salesperson only seemed interested in trying to prove to me he could sell me a car on his lot with a lower price than I could get elsewhere. When I refused to make any commitment, the dealership changed dance partners, and the manager asked me, “What do we have to do to get you to leave here with a car today?”

My answer was “Stop asking me insulting questions like that one.” The manager was stunned and asked me if I had a problem with the salesperson. I told him the salesperson was friendly and polite, but I’d rather he asked me some questions about the car I wanted to buy instead of the car he wanted to sell me.

The sales manager and salesperson looked confused and asked me what I meant. From there, I recited about ten open-ended questions I believed the salesperson should have asked me before making any recommendations or discussing price. For example, I planned on buying a 2009 version of the same two makes of cars I bought in 2003. How hard would it have been for to ask questions like, “Why did you buy those two cars in 2003? How happy are you with them? What’s important to you in a new car? How familiar are you with the changes between the 2003 and 2009 versions?”

The manager started to see things from my point of view and told me I wasn’t like most other customers who only walk on a car lot looking at price. I told both the salesperson and the manager that I wasn’t going to negotiate a price. Instead, I would use a car buying service that’s offered through my insurance company (USAA) that caters to present and former military personnel. The salesperson tried to backpedal and say I didn’t tell him that up front. Perhaps had he noticed the military base entry sticker on the windshield of my car and really listened to my comments about my wife being deployed, he might have learned something important about my background and asked some questions related to military experiences of both my wife and me. Since the majority of military officers purchase their car insurance through USAA, he would have been smart to bring up the subject on his own. And if he didn’t know that military officers almost always have their insurance through USAA, he isn’t doing his professional homework.

It was here that things really got interesting. The salesperson told me that if I used USAA, he might not get the commission. In fact, he told me about how he lost a commission to another salesperson when the prospect left the dealership and called in an order using the USAA buying service. Talk about focusing on yourself and not the customer!

Eventually, through the help of USAA and further discussions with the dealership to buy the car I wanted and not the one they wanted to sell me, we found the car we were looking for and agreed to purchase it. Before we took delivery, the salesperson explained to my wife and me how he gets paid by commissions and bonuses. His bonuses are tied to the customer satisfaction ratings he gets, and he implored us to give him a perfect rating because two previous customers had downgraded him, and he wasn’t qualifying for any bonuses right now. But wait, there’s more… He told us the options we wanted would be installed and the car ready for pickup on Thursday. I looked him right in the eye and told him I didn’t see any way he could have the car ready until Friday. He insisted it would be Thursday. As you might have guessed, he had to call us back to tell us the car wouldn’t be ready until Friday evening. Surprise, surprise!

And to think, he’s expecting – begging – for a perfect customer satisfaction score. I don’t think so.

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How often do you find yourself turned off by scripted and manipulative sales techniques used by salespeople you come in contact with? I shudder every time I come across a salesperson who recites their lines as though they were starring in an amateur theatre production.

Sure, you probably don’t like it either, but are you guilty of doing the same thing with your new prospects? Now, I’m not talking about using a sales process or system —there are multiple sales models out there, and depending on what you’re selling, some might be more appropriate than others. Every sales professional should have a process that begins with personal positioning and lead prospecting and takes you all the way to finalizing the transaction.

What I’m talking about is using canned phrases and buzzwords to ‘pitch’ your product or service. Those rehearsed statements simply don’t sound sincere. Even worse, scripted presentations move forward at one speed, and that speed is being set by the salesperson, not the prospect. Additionally, scripted approaches limit the number of questions you will ask – because you’re too busy ‘telling’ – and they restrict the amount of viable solutions you can offer, since without asking enough questions you cannot gather enough information to offer alternative choices.

Before getting face-to-face with any prospect or customer stop and ask yourself this question: “If I were the prospect, how would I want the salesperson to work with me?”

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